GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT!

I must warn you in advance -- this will not be my only post on the topic of food. Although I don't consider myself a "foodie" or use the hashtag "eeeeats", I've had a love affair with food since the day I was brought into this world and first latched onto my mum's nipple.

There are many contributing factors to why food rules my world:

• I am Jewish

Jews love two things in this world: money and food. But mostly food. Whether it be a baby naming or a Shiva, you better believe there will be a lox spread. I'm not talking about just some bagels and shmear, I'm talking about enough white fish and macaroni salad to feed the entire lower east side. When I walk into my parent's house, the first thing they ask is, "are you hungry? you want a little snack?" Of course I want a snack. I think I've turned them down a total of five times in my entire life.  

• Friends

All of my friends LOVE to eat. I mean, if they didn't they sure as heck wouldn't be my friends. Our obsession with food is borderline psychotic. For example: One of my friends received a wheel of brie for Christmas last year. That's not even the gross part. My initial reaction was, "sweet! when can I come over and destroy that bad boy with you?" Another instance of our food craze was for my birthday this year. I was eating pizza with a different friend when she handed me my gift -- a ticket to a food festival in Brooklyn. Can you say "best gift ever?!"

• Living in New York

"The city that never sleeps." More like the city that never stops fucking eating. Where else in the world can you get wine, burgers AND warm cookies delivered at any given time? Seamless Web is slowly killing me. They just make it so damn easy to get a quick order of cheese fries delivered at 9:30am. Also, we have events like restaurant week and food fairs -- I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. You must be wondering, "well why don't you try to have a little self control?" Why don't you mind your own darn business, Jillian Michaels. 

Bottom line is: I eat because i'm unhappy and i'm unhappy because I eat.