Friday, March 21, 2014

No Pants Dance

Hey you! Welcome! Why don't you take a load off and have a seat? Oh, you're already sitting... okay, well let's get to it then. 

Today is the second official day of Spring and I could not be more thrilled. I have been hibernating since late October and, as much as I love wearing sweaters and leggings everyday, I am friggin' pumped to break out my sundresses. After all, there is no better feeling than not wearing pants. 

From the time I get to work at 9 am -- eh, 9:15 -- I'm already daydreaming of getting home and taking my pants off. I imagine this yearning for release is the same a prisoner feels while serving a 35 year sentence. You must be thinking, "Woah Ariel, are you some kind of freak?" or "Do you wear extremely tight pants?" and the answer is: yes to all of the above. Personally, I don't think it really matters if your pants are tight or baggy...  they all suck just the same. I would say in my 25 years of living, I have probably tried on every style of pants (including chaps), and nothing feels as good as frolicking bare-legged around your apartment while blasting Celine Dion. Am I right, sisters?

If I were a man and didn't have the privilege of wearing skirts and dresses, I would most likely have a wardrobe consisting of nothing but kilts. So what if I'm 100 percent Jewish? Kanye did it and it was a hit. 

All I know is that this is America and if not wearing pants is wrong, then I don't want to be right. 




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